Preparing for autumn, thinking about qi, and scrambling eggs

This cool, crisp morning heralds the approach of autumn. A mere twelve days from now, the night and day will be evenly matched in duration. This holy day brings mixed feelings for me--excitement that a new season is beginning, trepidation for the promise of bitter cold spoken by every chilly breeze, and bone-deep homesickness.

This will be the second autumn I have experienced since I first moved away from the harsh northern winters when I was still young. Last autumn was the first one I'd seen in twelve years. I had forgotten how beautiful the leaves are when they change. Sadly this summer has been so dry that there's not as good a chance at another breathtakingly brilliant display, but it will still outshine any of what I saw in Texas. Ah, Texas--the homesickness. I miss living in a place where the low in August is in the 80s, and where 50 F would be considered unusually cold for an October day. My coping strategy revolves somewhat around meditations on the seasons patterned after the old European pagan holidays. I think of them as the "natural holidays." One for each seasonal transition, and the mid-season holidays (Samhain/Halloween, Imbolc/Groundhog Day, Mid-summer, Beltane/May Day). They are far more meaningful to observe up here where we have winters, as compared to Texas.

I've taken up tai chi practice again. It's fun having a practice that is simultaneously a meditation and an art of hand-to-hand combat. My routine involves about half an hour of qigong--to really get the qi moving--and then half an hour of work on my form. Right now it's Chen Man Ching's 37 posture Yang short form. Honestly, I would prefer continuing my work from 2000 or so in the Old Chen Style, but teachers of that art are hard to find. I feel fortunate to have had the opportunity when I was younger.

Now, anyone who knows me and knows how I'm more or less a hard-nosed scientist who withholds belief in the absence of evidence should be surprised to read that I like to "really get the qi moving." Qi or ch'i is generally dismissed by skeptics as nonsense. And I tend to agree, insofar as I have no reason to believe in some sort of real, measurable "vital force" or "life force" or whatever besides what has been studied through the biological sciences. I sincerely doubt anyone will become a Jedi Master through qigong--although, as always, I am open to being proven wrong. However, no one can say there isn't energy involved in life. The first chapter of any introductory college-level biology textbook these days must talk about transformations of energy, throughout the ecosystem and organisms. Eating and breathing (both methods of taking in qi according to ancient Taoist scholars) initiate a series of transformations of biochemical energy that is ultimately put to use for the organism--heating, thinking, moving. And as I practice tai chi, I really do feel like there's some sort of "energy" or "fullness," like my breath is inside of my body and moving around. Does that mean qi is real? Of course not. But it is an incredibly useful image for understanding those feelings and using them for balanced and relaxed motion. Qigong and tai chi would be impossible without imagining that qi exists and can be moved.

It's not unlike my relationship with the Buddha. I have a statue of the Buddha that sits in zazen pose at the edge of my desk. While I'm working at my desk, I sometimes get distracted or frustrated. And sometimes--if I seem to be unable to do it on my own--I'll even look at the statue and talk to the Buddha, asking him for help in clearing my mind and focusing my attention. Similarly, sometimes while walking to work (on those days when I can't work at home), if I'm particularly scattered or upset, I might imagine the Buddha is there with me, with golden radiance streaming out from him, and I might ask him for help in calming me. Does that mean the Buddha is really somehow here with me, helping me? Of course not. That's just silly--at least if taken in a literal rather than literary sense. But it does mean that certain imagination games have positive benefits. I have spent many hours in sitting-meditation, sometimes simply keeping my mind clear, sometimes focusing on an image like the Buddha's smile. I've cued the mental state of relaxed, joyful calmness to the Buddha and thoughts of him. Much like qi, just because it's not real doesn't mean it doesn't have real effects. I still think Aleister Crowley put it best in Liber O: "In this book it is spoken of Paths and Sephiroth and Gods and Spirits and many things which may or may not exist. By doing certain practices, certain results follow. The Student is most earnestly warned against attributing objective reality or philosophical validity to any of them." Now, he was writing about magic--carefully constructing a religious delusion in order to achieve certain practical results in life--which no longer interests me. Even so, I still do find practices like talking to the Buddha, or working with qi, useful with this principle kept in mind. I'm not sure what kind of skeptic that makes me!

Hm. I'd hoped for more cohesion in this blogging exercise. But it seems I'm just jumping around and sharing whatever thoughts have occupied my idle time over the last few days. So there you have it.

Scrambled eggs for breakfast. The key to successfully scrambled eggs is low heat. I am so pleased to have learned that--my scrambled eggs used to turn out kind of watery and messy. But now the curds are perfect and firm and fluffy. I think sometime in the next week I'm going to spend and evening making tortillas with the intention of preparing migas the next morning. Oh, great tip on making tortillas: After they have been pressed but before they have been heated, they can be put on wax paper on a cookie sheet and frozen. Then, to use them, simply take the frozen tortilla-shaped dough and heat it on medium-high to high heat in a lightly greased pan, just as you would if you hadn't frozen them.

I conclude with a link to Dr. Horrible's Sing-a-long Blog on Hulu. If you have not seen this supervillain musical starring Neil Patrick Harris and Nathan Fillion, well, your life is a bit more drab and less full than those of us who have seen it (and can sing along).